What your staff and students think you should be able to do
Hard to know whether to laugh or cry:
"Must be familiar with every book ever written, those currently being written, and anything that might be written in the future - including a firm publication date for the latter two."
"Must be able to identify the location of any lost or stolen, or otherwise missing, book - then be able to make it materialise on demand."
but wait, there's more!! ...